2013: The Craziest Year EVER

Since I didn't post anything during the whole year of 2013, this could be the longest update EVER.  We are still kickin' it up in the exciting town of Tooele.  I can't believe we have lived there for over a year now.   2013 has been a little crazy, to say the very least.  I am now 25 weeks pregnant with identical twin boys!  We are so excited and can't wait to have them in our lives with us.  It has definitely been a journey getting them this far.

The year started off with us finding out that the only way for us to conceive children would be through IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization).  It is a very extensive fertility treatment that takes 1-2 months of medication, and costs about $12,000.  We had no idea how we could possibly afford that, but we were willing to do anything to try to make it possible.  I found out about a job at Discover that had really good health insurance benefits which would cover 85% of fertility treatments, which would make our out-of-pocket expense for IVF be only about $2500 instead of the $12K.  So I got the job there in February.  It is a call center and I absolutely HATED being on the phone for 8 hours a day,  but I just kept reminding myself why I was working there and that it would all be worth it someday. 

By the end of June we were finally able to get everything worked out so that we could start IVF.  It was a long process, giving myself shots in my stomach everyday for about a month.  Matt, being the great husband he is, gave most of the shots to me so that made it easier to handle.  I'll admit I was scared to death to do the whole thing, but it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I survived. 

On August 5th, I got a phone call while I was at work from the Utah Fertility Center.  They told me that my pregnancy test came back positive!  I had never felt so happy.  I just cried and cried and couldn't even function for the rest of the day, I was shaking so bad.  Matt was out of town helping his parent's on their farm that day so I called him and told him the news.  He cried too, even though he might not admit to it.  Then a few weeks later we went in for the first ultrasound and heard not one, but two heartbeats!  TWINS!!  I fell in love with those two little peanuts inside of me right away.

At the end of August I was able to quit my job at Discover, and went back to my previous and much more enjoyable job of working at DownEast.  Life was good.  My first trimester was a breeze with no morning sickness, just slight nausea here and there but overall it was very easy.  It was so easy that I would worry sometimes that something was wrong with the babies, or that my body wasn't doing what it needed to in order to support them. But we had several ultrasounds and everything looked okay. 

Things were great until I was about 12 weeks along.  Then the doctor noticed something on the ultrasound that didn't look quite right.  It was too early to tell exactly what was going on at that time, but by about 15 weeks they had figured out that our twins had what is called "twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome".  It only happens in about 10% of identical twins, and basically one twin will pass all it's fluid and blood to the other baby.  The "donor baby" doesn't get enough of anything to grow, while the "recipient baby" gets way too much which causes the heart to enlarge and go into heart failure.  The doctor told us our babies would not survive.  In a few weeks they would die.  Matt and I were devastated.  And I was angry.  How could Heavenly Father give us this enormous blessing and then say "just kidding" and take it all away from us?  I had never been so confused and hurt and mad in my whole life.  I felt tricked and cheated.  I know, of course, that He never gives us trials to hurt us and He would never trick us or take away blessings just for fun.  At that time though, that is how I felt.  It was the most emotional pain I have ever experienced. 

Our boys are tough and at 18 weeks were still growing inside of me.  The doctor continued to give us bad news, but he did tell us about a special surgery for twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome.  There are only a few doctors in the country that do the surgery and 18 weeks is the earliest that they will do it.  The doctor contacted Dr. Chmait out in LA (one of the doctors who does the surgery) to tell him what was going on with us and to see if our babies might possibly stand a chance.  Dr. Chmait told our doctor to get us there as soon as possible so within the next two days that's where we were, in LA.  The first day there was full of tests and ultrasounds just to see if the surgery would benefit our boys.  Dr. Chmait said it was one of the worst cases of twin-to-twin that he had ever seen, but it was definitely possible that the surgery could help them.  The next day I went in for surgery.  It only took about twenty minutes, but in those twenty minutes he was able to laser off all the blood vessels through which the babies could pass any blood to each other, making it so they could each get equal amounts.  I stayed overnight in the hospital, had an ultrasound in the morning, and it was confirmed that the surgery was successful and that our boys had made it.  In just 24 hours they were already looking a little better on the ultrasound.  Our little boys lives were saved.

The next few weeks were wonderful.  We went in for ultrasounds every week, and got good news from the doctors every time.  Our boys were both improving, slowly but surely, and everyone was optimistic that over time they would get healthy and be just fine.  Matt and I had been stressed out for so long about them so it was really nice to have a break from the stress and to just know that everything was going to be okay.

I was only 23 1/2 weeks and just started leaking a little bit one day.  Then the next day it got worse so Matt convinced me to call the doctor.  I called, and they told us to hurry and get to the hospital in Salt Lake.  So we left our house right away, thinking everything would be fine and we would be back in just a couple of hours.  I wasn't having contractions or anything, just leaking fluid a little bit.  But after being there for 5 or 6 hours, they told me I would have to stay overnight, and possibly a few days.  So I stayed at the hospital while Matt went home to take care of our dog.  Matt would be back in the morning and I would go home with him.  Or so we thought....

They told me that I was slightly dilated and that one or both baby's sacs had ruptured and that I would have to stay in the hospital until I delivered.  I can't leave the hospital because I'm at risk for infection, and they want me close by just in case I do go into labor.  It could be just a few days or it could be months.  So here I am, living in a hospital for who knows how long.  Hopefully I'll be here until March because that would be best for the boys, and I want more than anything for them to get here safely and to be healthy.  I've been here for almost two weeks now.  It hasn't been too bad so far.  Because it's the holidays, Matt has been able to stay here with me most of the time.  He even got to bring our dog to visit me for Christmas.

We have seen so many miracles and blessings this year. When I look back on everything that has happened, I just can't believe how much we are being watched over.  Everyday is one day closer to having our boys here with us.  They are so strong, and it is such a miracle that they are still inside of me, healthy and growing.  All of these trials we've had in getting them this far along are just going to make me appreciate having children so much more.  I feel so blessed to have an amazing husband who has helped me through the stressful times.  He is always there to calm me down when I start to go crazy, and is always so patient with me.  It has been an emotional roller coaster and it's not over yet, but I feel like I've learned so much and become a much stronger person.  I wouldn't trade any of it.  Matt and I are so grateful for all the support and prayers we've had from family and friends.  It has made this long journey much easier for us. 

We are looking forward to what the new year has in store for us.  Hopefully it'll be slightly less eventful than 2013 has been, but no matter what happens I know that everything will work out the way it's supposed to.